I am Me

I can be none other, but that doesn’t mean I’m the same. I’m not the me from years ago or even yesterday. I change and mold and fix and search to be one with all ¬†things on this earth.

The sky as it greets me reminds me of truths, the swaying of trees like playful youth. The roar of the sea as past grumbles out, the wonderful sunlight removing my doubt.

I connect, I pull, I play, I feel. I bend, I bow, I break, I peel. When all is over and I search what’s meant to be. I see truth, hope, compassion, love and honesty.

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One More Step

She wishes to remove doubt from her mind

Pictures and memories to leave behind

Newness replaces the old and worn

Lovers looks of angry scorn

Chapters close as doors do too

Opening windows to skies of blue

Mountain top men of guidance and light

Crows and rabbits taking flight

It is what you see, what you hear and feel

Remember illusions not all is real

She fights to prove to herself she can

She fights cause crying is getting old again

The release, the steam, the energy flow

Reminds her of a time when things went slow

She basks in the hours of more knowledge to gain

And shivers as the cracks cause her more pain

She’s exposed bleeding left for dead

Lies spoken to her jumble her head

Hatred drowns and fills her soul

Love leaks in and makes a hole

Strong is her fight for all she believes

Soft are her mannerisms as she tries not to flee

You got this, she says, just one more step

Towards heaven or hell; she hasn’t decided yet.

Muay Thai

Muay Thai means:

  • Finding that level of respect for yourself that maybe you didn’t know was there
  • Adjusting your life to take in more so you can be more
  • Respecting others, other opponents, other companions, other friends, other enemies
  • Wrapping and gloving so you can move your bodies energy in a way that says, “not today! You won’t get the best of me today.”
  • Pushing yourself to do ten more seconds of Muay Thai push ups, one more minute of the knee drills
  • Sweating and practicing breathing as your body fights to change
  • Conditioning, burning, repeating, enjoying, crying
  • Absorption, blocking, clinching, kneeing, firing back
  • Drills, drills, and a few more drills
  • Feeling the pain and pushing through
  • Do it again, step out, where’s your 45, stop stepping into me
  • Chase it down
  • 20 more kicks, faster, do it again
  • Stop dropping your hands, what was that, get it together
  • Walking knees, crunches, hip ups, mountain climbers
  • Cardio, endurance, weight loss, self-esteem
  • Wishing you’d have found it earlier
  • Changing for the better
  • Finding passion
  • Having fun doing something you love
  • Better ¬†today than you were yesterday

Inner Me

Blue lines of streaming air

Golden wound within her hair

Sparkles aglow inside her eyes

Dangerous power in unspoken lies

She waits of word of his embrace

She wants to reveal her true face

She turns about, wings aflutter

Changing her mind about going asunder

She forces a smile all is well

She taps on the door, afraid of the Bell

Maybe this time will be the last

Maybe she won’t run away as fast

Maybe the distance will be good

She just wants to remember like she should

Locked Up

The sadness is heavy, the game is played

I watch from a distance as she pushes away

Starting walls of brick once more

Removing windows, latching doors

Vulnerability painfully ripe

She wants to grab it put it inside

Ride out till the feelings are gone

Embrace just once before moving on

Openness is over, cloudy water of doubt

If you’ll listen closely you’ll hear its shouts

It’s desire and longing screaming more

Maybe another lock on the door

UNLOCK IT NOW!!!!!

Demon Mind

Cloaked, masked, blurry and bleak

This stranger of mine came to me.

Removing of things I’ve tried to hide

Asking questions while I meekly glide

Dance dance around the truth

Backspace, backspace-No! Where’s mute?

Filters are falling, thoughts grow thick

Times are changing, monsters are quick

Battles are fought inside and out

Many know not for what they’re about

The demons cringe as they glare at my soul

Bright and burning too much to hold

They hiss and wish they were enough

So they could consume it and feel of its love

Inside it would change things, better or worse

Some could not handle. No time to converse

The demons wave giggle and play

They pave destruction the light goes away

The dark consumes and tries to bind

Then I realize it’s just my mind!

Acceptance

Change is coming, the poems are here

Filtering thoughts and pouring out fear

Unknown situations and exciting paths

Written in cursive, like wonderful maps.

Jewels are hidden and locked tight

X marks the spot, but you’ll dig for life.

Remember it’s only what is or what’s not

Then they will find you ready or not

She’ll shake, shiver, and pretend to bleed

Then she’ll laugh and cry in honesty

She’ll want to explore and chase it down

Instead she waits for the acceptance sound.